How Are They Not Blind?!?

September 11, 2011 at 11:27 am Leave a comment

Life lesson of the week: when you get a can of mace, do not test spray it inside the house. It’s a pretty simple rule. Just don’t do it.  Sure, the back of that package will say “test before using.” But don’t listen to them.  They just want to laugh at your pain. It’s a trick, my friend, a nasty, no good, evil trick.

See, this week my roommate and I celebrate her birthday with our heads sticking out the window of our NYC apartment coughing, crying, and feeling like our insides were on fire.  And all because we trusted the back of the mace can and “tested before use.”  Here’s what went down…

Cee–my roomie–had just received a birthday package from her family filled with b-day surprises.  One of those surprises was a can of “It’s Your Birthday” mace.  So after unwrapping the presents, joking about the gifts, and eating cake made with booze, we parted ways to spend apart time doing apart things.  I’m happily surfing the computer when I hear Cee call out my name from the kitchen asking if I wanted to watch her test spray her brand new mace.  Being a very lazy person, I promptly replied, “No thanks!”

Little did I know that staying in my room would not protect me from that evil product.

Oh no. Next thing I hear is: Spray. Exclamation. Cough. And then my roomie telling me not to go into the kitchen because the fumes from the mace–which she sprayed into the sink–are really strong.  Two minutes later I am coughing, crying, and feel like my throat is on fire.  Cee is suffering from similar symptoms.

We maced our house. The whole apartment was filled with mace fumes that were so bad that we were literally gasping for breath out the windows.

My question: how is it that in all of the freaking romances I read getting maced is like, “Oh mace. NBD”?  Are these people made of stone? Can they not feel? How are they not blind? Is this really a funny scene?!?

This seems like a proper response

It’s like my world has been turned upside down. So life lesson from me to you? Say no to indoor product testing. It’s a bad idea.

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Entry filed under: Random Life of Lizzie. Tags: , , , , .

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